So, I was at the hair stylist today (stylist is important, that will come up again) and I bemoaning the grey that was popping up. It seems that I can’t stay ahead of it and when I color it at home, I look just so… washed out.
What does happen to our hair in midlife? The National Library of Medicine tells us a few things that happen:
Hair color change. This is one of the clearest signs of aging. Hair color is due to a pigment called melanin, which hair follicles produce. Follicles are structures in the skin that make and grow hair. With aging, the follicles make less melanin, and this causes gray hair. Graying often begins in the 30s.
Scalp hair often starts graying at the temples and extends to the top of the scalp. Hair color becomes lighter, eventually turning white.
Body and facial hair also turn gray, but most often, this happens later than scalp hair. Hair in the armpit, chest, and pubic area may gray less or not at all.
Graying is largely determined by your genes. Gray hair tends to occur earlier in white people and later in Asians. Nutritional supplements, vitamins, and other products will not stop or decrease the rate of graying.
Hair thickness change. Hair is made of many protein strands. A single hair has a normal life between 2 and 7 years. That hair then falls out and is replaced with a new hair. How much hair you have on your body and head is also determined by your genes.
Nearly everyone has some hair loss with aging. The rate of hair growth also slows.
Hair strands become smaller and have less pigment. So the thick, coarse hair of a young adult eventually becomes thin, fine, light-colored hair. Many hair follicles stop producing new hairs.
Women can develop a similar type of baldness as they age. This is called female-pattern baldness. Hair becomes less dense and the scalp may become visible.
As you age, your body and face also lose hair. Women’s remaining facial hair may get coarser, most often on the chin and around the lips.
So, how fun is that, right? I noticed that a lot of my friends with greying hair are going blonde. I asked my stylist about this. His take was that it’s tempting to tell someone to go lighter – the grey will blend in better, but if you go too light it is too harsh on the skin and will give you the effect of actually being older.
His advice? Get DEPTH in your hair. That is the reason I tend to look like a fisher price little person with my plastic hair on – my box color is only giving me an all over color, not any depth.
As one good Southern woman said: “Any woman over 30 years needs short hair”. This is not necessarily true. I see plenty of women with short hair and it is just a blob – nondescript. One 50+ woman bragged that with her new short haircut, she could just wash and go. Newsflash: She looked it. Many of us in midlife are starting to really settle into our preferences – we have our favorite restaurant (and favorite dish AT the favorite restaurant, which we enjoy in our favorite seat with our favorite server – you get the idea), our brand and scent of deodorant, our “signature scent” and the living room furniture that our kids will be trying to sell off at an estate sale one day while hip people walk around and whisper how dated everything is. In other words, we get into ruts. We are creatures of habits and by midlife, our cement seems to start to harden.
When we keep the long hairstyle that was great when we were chasing kids, we run the risk of it working against us. As we get older, our hair thins out and can lose its luster and start to look flat. It can also drag your face down and actually make you look older.
The trick for long hair in midlife? Layers. SO, this is the time to find a STYLIST. Haircuts are one thing, hair STYLING is another. If you are ready to trade in your longer locks for a new look – find a really GOOD stylist who can cut SHORTER HAIR. And while it’s tempting to bring in a photo of Cate Blanchett and say – make me this! Remember, A LOT goes in to a style that is right for you. Face shape, head shape, how your hair grows, texture and lifestyle need to always be considered. One more thing with short hair: be prepared to STYLE it. I know VERY FEW women with adorable short hair that can wake up and go. The thing with short hair is that you can’t just throw it up in a ponytail. If you are having a bad hair day – everyone knows it. You must commit to at least a little bit of product and a little bit of coiffing.
This is one of my favorites:
When I was in my late 30s, and making that transition, I went to a very upscale salon in Beverly Hills for a once in a lifetime cut and color (the price was equivalent to what I paid for my iPhone) but WOW – that really was the best cut I have ever had. Why? For one thing, the stylist spent about 30 minutes talking to me about WHO I WAS. What was my life like? where did I go? what did I want out of my haircut (right?? I have had therapists who never asked this many questions). At one point, he just stared at me and said: “you know I am cutting your hair short – you have too small of a face for the hair you have now”. After that, the stylist took an hour to cut my hair – yes, an hour and that was not because we were kicking back with mimosas (well, we were, but we were in Beverly Hills!). It was because he would cut, step back, look, cut some more, go to a different angle, cut. It was really how I would imagine Michelangelo sculpted. The color was also an artist painting – one strand after another would be painted with the precision of a porcelain painter. I looked really good. He knew I was from Georgia, so at the end he said to me: Go back and find a GOOD stylist who can follow the lines I left. If they follow them, you will keep this haircut.
One bad “stylist” back in Georgia messed me up and it took years to recover and find a great stylist, which I eventually did. I have been in good hands ever since.
So there’s the scoop on hair in midlife. And as one of salon patrons said when we were talking about aging: “If you ever feel you look old – just look at the arrest records – you’ll realize how good you still look.’
Nuff said. It’s all ok.