My life has been the most unstable career wise its ever been this year.  The inspirational quotes that say “when you jump you fly” forget to say “or you fall”.  I have experienced the second this year.  I chose to leave a solid job of more than a decade because the new head of the company decided I was not a good cultural fit.  She didn’t know me or what I was capable of, but I think my exploratory, passionate, ask why personality did not fit in well with her structured, process, policy and procedure type of world.  I get it. In that arena, I probably am a liability. So I chose to leave.

I pursued other interests for a while, but nothing was really more than a hobby and the thought of making a living on them just seemed too far off.  So I caved and returned to the workforce, only this time I picked up a 130 mile commute.  Better fit, but 15 hours a week I was in the car.  Unfortunately, when you live 65 miles from the nearest big city, this is reality.  But another opportunity came up recently where it was closer to home and the hours seemed great.  I was eager to jump in and start.

I worked a notice and a week later I jumped in with both feet to this new job.  Three days in I was told I was not a good cultural fit.  Five days in, I left.

What does cultural fit mean? Why can’t I fit in?

In midlife, I have experiences and skills, I want to walk in an make a difference.  I am able to take what I have learned and translate it into a new arena.  So why is it so hard to find a place to do this?  Maybe it’s them.  Maybe it’s me.  Damn, I still need dental insurance.

It’s so hard not to take midlife personally.  Kids get older and don’t need you as much.  I am not even a good cultural fit in my own home!

I think there is a lesson here and I am not sure what it is.  I can’t google it, I can watch a how to you tube video, I can’t just check out – what to do?

There must be a third way.  An option, a calling I am not hearing.  Even when you jump and fall you will eventually hit the ground.  I still feel like I am freefalling.

Just call me a midlife cultural misfit.  I will let you know when I land.