Today, I heard some words that struck me.  I was at the end of a Pilates class and as we were doing our final physical check-ins, the teacher noted that if things feel worse at the end of a session, then you need to change levels – that you need to stop fighting the movements and think about how it feels for you rather than what you are trying to achieve effort wise. 

Maybe all this chaos in midlife is a way of stirring up the dust not to make it more difficult to be successful but to actually facilitate success.

In midlife, we pause, we push, we pull apart, but how often do we ask ourselves how is it feeling for us?  Especially moms who have spent a big part of their adulthood raising children, holding down a job, keeping it all together and looking like it is effortless.  What are we trying to achieve effort wise?  For many of us, it is perfection.  Perfect spouse, perfect friend, perfect mom.  If things feels worse at the end of a session, then you need to change levels.

When was the last time I asked myself how it felt for me?  When did I even come into the equation?  Why would I when perfection is an endless run on a long road with no breaks.  It’s being happy when you are not, it’s denial and depravation and loneliness and judgement.  I have come to realize that midlife is the perfect time to change levels, or at least check in and come face to face with out emerging selves.

How does it feel for you?  Is it time to stop fighting the movements?