Monthly Archives: August 2019

Our Midlife Menu: 4 Things to do Today

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Now is the time to optimize your midlife menu. Certain foods can support your health and even aid in reducing menopausal indicators. With metabolism, hormones and caloric needs changing, here are some ways you can set your self up for success:

-Increase your intake of Omega-3 fatty acids (found in salmon, mackerel or if you are vegetarian, flax and chia seeds). Studies have shown Omega-3s can assist in lowering LDL cholesterol, reduce depressive symptoms (specifically in women), improve cognition and even reduce the frequency hot flashes.

-Eat more phytoestrogen containing foods. These are foods that bind to estrogen receptors and can act as kind of a very weak estrogen in the body. Foods such as soy, chickpeas, barley, grapes, berries, broccoli and flax sees seem to offer protection against certain cancers, reduce some of the midlife ‘fog’ and maybe even offer hot flash relief as well. One factor that has always been interesting is how vasomotor (hot flashes/night sweats) as an indicator of perimenopause is a very Western indicator. Studies of women in Asia show they experience vasomotor symptoms in about 20% of women, while about 80% of Western women experience them. One theory is the high consumption of soy in the Asian diet might be at play. While studies are far and few between and inconclusive, it is interesting to think that maybe there is a connection.

-Eat more protein. This is not a green light for a burger at Krystal. This is making sure you are consuming good quality protein daily. This, along with activity, can keep age related muscle deterioration at bay and can prevent hip fractures. Nuts, eggs, lean beef, chicken, even protein powders can give you the 20-25 grams you need a meal.

-Drink more water. While there is no ‘universal’ guidelines on how much water to consume, there are reasons to try to make sure you are drinking it. From lubricating joints, to keeping bacteria at bay in our midlife mouths by forming saliva and mucus, to keeping us from prematurely wrinkling, water is one of those things that is just good for you. I am guilty of this one and am going to commit to increasing my water intake. Will keep you all posted on that one.

Today, look at what you are doing to support your midlife self. I think we often rock along like we are 35 and forget that the needs of our bodies have changed. We end up with habits that are no longer serving us and at this stage of the game start actively working against us. Then we get in a vicious cycle of bad habits and new symptoms, never connecting the two and trying untangle the knot of our new midlife situation.

What are the most bothersome indicators for you TODAY? How can you support yourself with diet and exercise?? Hot flashes? Try magnesium (make sure it is right for you first), didn’t work? Try increasing Omega-3s – try them together. Keep a diary, note how you feel, what is going on. Read (there are two great books I recommended in the last blog), own your power. Know that no on outside you will know your unique experience so you have to be the one who captains your ship.

Even ONE step in the right direction today can make a difference. It’s not about beating yourself up but about celebrating it all and celebrating you.
Stay Strong, Stay Centered and Stay Healthy.

Image from unsplash.com

Midlife Must: Add Magnesium to your Life

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The more I learn about magnesium, the more I think it is the MIDLIFE WONDER MINERAL and I want to share this information with everyone, especially women in midlife.

Magnesium is involved in so many biochemical functions in the body (over 300): regulating body temperature (think hot flash relief), sleep functions (staying asleep longer), mood swings and blood pressure/sugar (lower blood pressure and protection against type 2 diabetes), bone density (a study of women aged 39 to 72 showed those with the highest magnesium rates had the strongest bones and muscles) AND it is also known as the “relaxation” mineral.

YET most of us don’t even really know about it and are in midlife are either low or deficient in this mineral (magnesium is kept deep in the bones and muscles, so a deficiency may not even show up in a blood test).


Why? – Our levels drop due to hormone fluctuations – Our levels get depleted during times of stress (um, hello 40s and life in general) – Caffeine and alcohol strip our levels (nooooooo!!) – Many vegetables are now grown in mineral depleted soil, leaving us thinking we are getting our greens, when we are not really getting nutrients from them. – It is rarely studied for it’s benefits in perimenopause – It is not sold by a drug company for profit – There are so many “types” of commercially available magnesium, it is confusing and overwhelming.


Y’all, we need to be making sure that we are getting a magnesium-rich diet. You can get it in almonds, dried fruits, black beans, spinach, kale and dark chocolate (>70%), avocados, tofu and flax/pumpkin/chia seeds.


You can also look at adding it as a midlife supplement. There are pills, oils, lotion, flakes and sprays on the market. It is confusing and overwhelming on all the ways and types. Try a good quality magnesium glycinate, which does not have laxative effects and has a natural calming effect (always, however, do your homework). This may assist with hot flashes, insomnia and stress.


I have some friends for whom it reduced hot flashes entirely and others who did not notice a huge difference in that, for example, but did notice they slept for longer periods, one said she just felt better overall. I use NESTED Naturals brand vegan Magnesium Glycinate Chelate 200 mg. daily (but, again, that works for ME, finding out what works for you is key).
There are SEVERAL types of magnesium our there. Daily recommendations for women are between 310-320 mg. day. Before you add a bottle to your amazon cart, make sure you know what type fits your needs.


Of course, every woman is so unique – we all have to do our research and talk to our doctors if we take supplements and are on other meds, just to be safe.
Midlife madness is real and one of our best defense is a healthy diet rich in vitamins and minerals and trying to reduce stress.


You can also check out two books I highly recommend (I know, I know, who has time to read…):The Magnesium Miracle by Carolyn Dean MD, ND (and is also available on Audible) and Before the Change by Ann Louise Gittleman, PhD, CNS

Part of falling apart is finding yourself and there is nothing better than being the architect of your own vitality.
Stay strong, stay centered and stay healthy!!

In defense of the last first and the first last

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Today, I sent my daughter off to her first day of senior year. This was the first time I was sad, really sad watching her go. Each grade before brought excitement and the unknown, like fresh new growth. Each year was marked by a photo and a ritual of a first, knowing there would be another just like it the following year with just a grade changed on the prop. Laughing at how much she changed, how tall she had gotten, how long her hair was now.

This year, however, the ritual was one of lasts. It was the last first day in high school, the last first day she would be here with me not belonging to the world yet. The last first day I knew she had only one home on this planet, ours. Next year would be full of firsts again, but in a new environment with new rules and norms, but for today, all I could see was lasts.

I then thought about all my lasts this year firsts recently. How life had shaken me out of a long time job and escorted me into another, where I had to make new relationships, learn new ways of doing things and start all over at a new place with a much longer commute. I thought of how midlife had given me firsts within my own skin. How the roles I have played for so long no longer needed a leading character, how the reflection in the mirror has started to betray me. How all the worry, insecurities and old wounds I had been carrying around only obscured my new view and became a troublesome 3 piece luggage set on a trip that only allowed a carry on.

The aches I felt watching my daughter go, were also aches of longing for the way it has been. I was no longer a master of this part of my life, I was now a novice in a new part. I realized how many layers of to do lists and birthday parties and pick up lines I had masterfully woven through. How, on this end, I had smugly judged others who were newer in their role and had not yet figured out what, to a seasoned mom, was just sooo obvious. How my comfort and experience had in some way made me arrogant and lazy. I had succeeded in playing the role, yet In trying so desperately to look like I had it all together and figured out, I had forgotten about the absolute precious gift I was looking at, why I was there and that it would one day be over.

But here is where I found myself today: in the presence of a first last and a last first.

When she pulled away, I realized that I am now, once again, a novice. I have decided I am going to welcome it as scary as it may be. My skills and experience had not prepared me for today, yet deep down, I know I need no preparation, I only need courage, which being a novice takes a lot of. I realized today that this is part of life. It is a gift for me to be reminded that nothing in life is truly stable and guaranteed not to change. It was a great reminder that for all my mastery, if I am unable to become a novice again I am at risk of becoming hard, stagnant and arrogant. Being a novice is never a last first or a first last, but it embodies the best of what we have to offer as humans: curiosity, vulnerability, excitement and freshness with a healthy dose of humility. Learning to be a novice again will also let me view the first lasts and the last firsts as just markers to more learning and growth.

I realized that the tears I shed were not for her, but for me. I was comfortable, we were settled and safe and now the boat must go back out on the choppy water again and I must learn to sail again. As much as I would rather stay on shore and embellish tales of adventure, the harbor is not what makes a sailor great or has ever made a great sailor. It keeps the boat safe. She happily rowed away from me today. Within the lesson of the first last and the last first, I realized that as a novice, I must return to the boat and relearn how to row .

Copycat Lara Bar: Pumpkin Spice… Raw food eating.YUUUMMM

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As I search for clean eating snacks that have protein and a little sweetness to them, I have reached for a Lara bar often. I decided to try to make my own. Here we go.

Ingredients I used for the Lara Bar base. The only additional things I added were Pumpkin Pie Spice and Cinnamon.

The recipe I used was:

3 cups raw cashews

1 cup dates (unpitted)

1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes

1/8 teaspoon Pumpkin Pie spice

1/8 teaspoon cinnamon

Put cashews in food processor and pulse until fine

Soak the dates in hot water (I think the soaking got better results), drain and add to cashew mixture. Pulse. Add coconut and spices, pulse.

Take the mixture and spread it in a square 8×8 pan – you can either line it or spray with non-stick oil. I sprayed it and it was fine. Refrigerate for about 2 hours.

Cut into bars and store. Total prep time was about 10 minutes.

Food processor – blend all ingredients
Put in dish and refrigerate
Cut into bars

They are super yummy. Looking at suggestions from others, I think I could have mixed it up with almonds and walnuts. I could have also added a pinch of salt, but that is for another time though.

You can look here to find the nutrition facts for the Cashew Cookie Lara Bar, which is what mine was just with some different things added. The coconut would add some calories and fat, but I did not add a lot.

My daughter now grabs one instead of the prepackaged granola bars and I cut them small so they are portioned, otherwise, they are really so good you can go a little crazy on them. I know they don’t look like totally like a Lara bar, I could have ground up the nuts better, I think and my daughter did at first complain about the texture but the taste is just soooo good.

Do you have a raw recipe you swear by? Have you made your own bars and can suggest improvements?

woman on scale

Midlife Weight Gain: 4 Weighs to Cope

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Starting at about the age of 30 our metabolism starts slowing down about 5% each year. From the age of 35 to 45, we start to lose muscle mass so we end up needing about 200 calories LESS a day.

This fun fact helped our aged ancestors survive in the wilderness when hunting and gathering all day was the closest thing they had to a Publix and the older folks who weren’t as good at it anymore needed a little meat on their bones to ward off starvation.

Now, a trip to Sonic for a Pineapple Upside Down Master Blaster shake will provide you with 2,020 calories and 94 grams of fat (women up to the age of 50 need about 1800 calories a day). Or Olive Garden’s Chicken and Shrimp Carbonara will set you back 1,590 calories and a whopping 114 grams of fat. All without having to forage or stalk a single one of those carbs. Yikes.

So, unless we are kicking up our activity levels at the same time when we want to just take a break, and right when the “itises” start showing up at our doorstep – or we purposefully start to eat more balanced and focused diet, we can end up with a few extra pounds seemingly out of nowhere. This can lead to feelings of frustration and a tendency to want to give up or give in.

Here are 4 things you can do to keep the midlife middle in check:

  1. Eat as fresh as possible. Summer is a great time for farmers markets and gardens so try to embrace the beauty that are harvest in your local soils. You can find your local farmers marker location here: http://localfarmmarkets.org/
  2. Don’t diet or limit yourself, but eat intentionally and eat from all the food groups. Eat the not-so-good foods once in a while and read the labels for added sugar. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/18-surprising-foods-high-in-sugar#section1. One trick is to try to eat 100 calories less a day. That might be one cookie instead of two, or adding in 20 minutes of walking to your day.
  3. Try a copycat recipe that takes some of your decadent favorite foods and makes them healthier, this site has the Wendy’s Frosty and a Starbucks mocha frappaccino reimagined in a healthier way: https://www.prevention.com/food-nutrition/g20497811/10-clean-eating-copycat-recipes/?slide=4
  4. Move as much as you can. We know from our brief obsession with fitbits that #allstepsmatter. Park further, take the stairs, walk and talk with friends. It all adds up.
    And remember, it’s not about the rules, it’s about a connection to positive choices and loving yourself no matter what.
Heart in an apple

The Midlife Heart: Palpitations

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With midlife comes many opportunities for women: a chance to step out of and redefine long held roles within a family structure, a chance to have more time to pursue often long forgotten interests, and hopefully more financial freedom to do so.

Within this transitional period, as we get used to the new us, we might find that the internal seems to be transitioning as well. Our midlife body may bring with it a series of reminders that it, too, is along for the ride.

A friend of mine recently shared her story of going to the ER convinced she was having a heart attack, only to find it turned out to be a panic attack, her first one ever. She has experienced heart palpitations on and off since then leading us to have many conversations about the midlife heart. You might even feel palpitations in your neck rather than in your chest!

If you have having heart palpitations for the first time in midlife, you are not alone. Lots of us are experiencing them as well.
They can be related to midlife anxiety, stress, hormones, thyroid issues, certain medications, too much caffeine, depression and yes, heart muscle issues.

It can even be that our “heart” becomes more open and sensitive in midlife, trying to pass on messages of things that no longer serve us. Dr. Christine Northrup talks about finding out what your heart is trying to tell you. Of course, stabilizing insulin levels and blood sugar is a first step in the right direction. She also suggests looking at progesterone cream or even estrogen for possible relief.

If you have heart palpitations and have ruled out any serious medical conditions as the cause, here are a few natural ways to deal with them:

  1. Reducing caffeine intake (although that’s not happening in my house – for the safety of all who live around me)
  2. Look at your diet. What habits have you developed that are no longer serving your health? Poppin by Wendy’s to grab a small Frosty on the way home from work can be refreshing, but remember it comes with 40 grams of sugar AND 48 grams of carbs. Why not find a knockoff recipe like this one? There are so many healthy recipes to replace the foods we love, why not be inspired??
  3. Trying meditation or acupuncture to deal with midlife stress (many insurance companies are now offering acupuncture benefits – Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Tennessee, for example, has added 50 visits a year to many plans for 2020). You can find an acupuncturist near you here.
  4. Try using the heart mudra (hear me out…I have a friend who this really helped – it is a hand position with an energy lock – you can find a 58 second video of it here.
  5. Try this pressure point technique.
  6. Try an Epsom salt bath (although there are risks if you have low blood pressure, so do some research)
  7. Try the Valsalva Maneuver. Ok, this one may feel odd but it stimulates the Vargus nerve. Many of us do it to clear water out of our ears, but it can help with rapid heart beats. Coughing and splashing cold water on your face can also be good, easy grandma-approved remedies to try.
  8. For overall heart care, try taking Blackstrap molasses regularly. Rich in potassium, calcium, magnesium, and iron, this stuff is Apple Cider vinegars suave cousin. Dissolving a teaspoon in a glass of water and drinking it daily can help – you just have to get used to the taste and strong smell.

Make sure that when your heart talks to you, you listen. In midlife, our bodies start to reveal long held secrets and patterns. What we do with that information is up to us.

What other remedies have you used and found helpful?